Being A Long Distance Mom

Long distance relationship are hard! Even with all the fancy communication tools we have nowadays staying in truly touch isn't easy unless we are face to face with our loved ones. Add to that already difficult proposition trying to be a mom through the phone and Internet and you have an almost impossible task. This past week has made it very clear that even with the best of technology distance-momming is not the real deal.
My eldest Nicole has been sick - really sick it turns out - and has called me more since Sunday then in the whole month before. I've walked through her symptoms with her, told her what she need from the drug store and what to ask when she was finally convinced she had to see the doctor. I've fielded questions about fevers, racing heart beats and discussed hot tea vs orange juice. What I haven't been able to do is make her tea, feel her forehead or hug her and that's what really matters!
She is an exceptionally bright and talented young woman of whom I am very proud but in my heart of hearts she is still the little girl who would curl up in the big chair with her blanket and lamby wanting Momma to make her all better. She is still that teen who would lay on the couch covered in blankets sipping tea and trying to avoid going to the doctor. She is a smart girl who is learning to be a grown up (and that being a grown up is HARD) with a mom who isn't really ready to let go!



Feel better Nikki-Kate my love!!

Finding Inspiration in Everyday Life

Have you ever heard the expression "stop and smell the flowers"? I have - repeatedly. Living in Northern Virginia, growing up going to church activities and art lessons and softball and riding my bike all over Ashdale its something I heard one adult with an over-crowded schedule say to another all the time. Once I got to be one of those adults it became something I struggled with constantly. Over the years I have given up painting and sewing and even sleeping (thank You God for insomnia) trying to get all the things I felt needed done accomplished while trying to work and go to school again and raising my girls. It's not as easy as Momma made it look!! Now that neither girl lives at home and I'm done with school (for the time being?) and I'm not allowed to work my life has taken on a new tempo.

I've learned to not only stop and smell the roses, but also to; walk slowly enough through my days to enjoy the sunrise as well as the sunset, watch the trees change colors, listen to the birds sing and try to find them, enjoy the clouds dancing in the sky and generally find inspiration for life in God's creation around me. Living in southwest Virginia definatley helps with that quest, it is one of the most beautiful places on earth! Just driving from place to place fills your day with beautiful views and opportunities to see all sorts of "woodland" creatures.

Psalm 90 tells us: Before the mountains were born or You brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting You are God. What a wonderful promiseof which to be constantly reminded! I draw strenth from the Blue Ridge, they remind me of the power and might of the One Who created them and make me feel safe and protected. Psalm 72 reinforces this with the promise: The mountains will bring prosperity to the people, the hills the fruit of righteousness.

How wonderful is the Lord our God to those who love Him and are called by His Name!

Labor Day Along the Blue Ridge Parkway

Tucker and I took Terri on a drive south along the parkway today. The sky was beautiful bright blue, the breeze just right and the temp never got above the upper 80's. It was perfect!

There is something to be said for leaving behind the sales & crowds of the malls and the noise and crush of the last day at the pool/beach/lake to wander along the roads remembering what we actually labor for...


Another nice reminder from today's adventure - not everyone gets a labor free Labor Day! Oh I know all the retail sales staffs are out in full force along with the food industry workers and theater & theme park employees, but they will get another day off to make up for today.

I'm thinking more along the lines of farmers, herdsmen, dairymen and cattlemen (and women) who don't get a day off period. The sun comes up and off they go... the sun sets and still they have things to do! Even on a "holiday" celebrating the working man.


We named this gentleman "Farmer Johnson" and I'm sure he thought we were nuts taking pictures of him. All he wanted to do, surely, was get his field mowed and get home! Look at the tree line and the incline of the land...can you imagine working a field like that just to get hay for your animals?! (BTW, the big orange cloud is POLLON - oy my sinuses!)

The amazing thing about these drives are the lessons - duty, dedication and honor never take a holiday - and surprises that God puts in my path along the way. After watching "Farmer Johnson" for a while I noticed something odd along the fence line.


This wonderful Cross is made up of a fence post, tree stump, vines and barbed wire twisted into a crown of thorns. What a wonderful beautiful picture of the work the Man of Sorrows did on that OLD RUGGED CROSS

1. On a hill far away stood an old rugged cross,
the emblem of suffering and shame;
and I love that old cross where the dearest and best
for a world of lost sinners was slain.
Refrain:
So I'll cherish the old rugged cross,
till my trophies at last I lay down;
I will cling to the old rugged cross,
and exchange it some day for a crown.

2. O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world,
has a wondrous attraction for me;
for the dear Lamb of God left his glory above
to bear it to dark Calvary.
(Refrain)

3. In that old rugged cross, stained with blood so divine,
a wondrous beauty I see,
for 'twas on that old cross Jesus suffered and died,
to pardon and sanctify me.
(Refrain)

4. To that old rugged cross I will ever be true,
its shame and reproach gladly bear;
then he'll call me some day to my home far away,
where his glory forever I'll share.
(Refrain)


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The continuing saga

First full day in Tennessee wasn't too bad, kinda cloudy but still got some good pictures taken (400+ in 4 days) made use of my kitchen and found the "art gallery". In of itself the gallery was a bit of a disappointment but the fact that it was founded by the artists themselves was quiet wonderful. It is open to the who community offering classes, lectures, demonstrations and a nice art history library.

I also found one of the wineries. Interesting place - not a grapevine to be found. Highlight of that stop was this cool wine glass rack I found... If only I had money...and wine glasses! Thus Monday ended...


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My Trip to Tennessee

Have you ever noticed that no matter what wonderful ideas you have before you go on vacation they all go ary and yet it turns out ok in the end anyway...most of the time? I recently got to go to a wonderful area of Central Tennessee sourrounded by lakes and rolling hils and stay at a resort with multiple outdoor pools and even beaches. The idea of laying out in the sun soaking up all that lovely vitamin D thrilled me. Even better was the chance to visit with freinds I had not seen in years - decades even! To top it all off there were a number of wineries in the area. It sounded like a perfect picture-taking getaway. I was soooo excited.

The day before departure the "guest" who was coming with me (and had the money) backed out. Ok, no problem - I had a full tank of gas, a trunk full of groceries and a condo with a full kitchen waiting for me. I could still do this... and the drive down was beautiful. I even stopped at Bristol and got some fresh fruits and veggies at a historic farmers' market.

I arrived at Wyndom Fairfield Glade about 3 hours later then projected and very tired but left the concierge with lots of local art, history and winery attractions. AND two bags of hot popcorn, 4 chocolate chip cookies and 4 oatmeal cookies hot out of the oven. So far so good right?! Wrong... they had me in a small unit with a flight of stairs to get in and 4 steps in the unit. Not good for the knee - oh and my parking was half a block away. Sooo back to the Club House, get the room changed to the one I had reserved and viewed online. Off to the new room, unpack the car and watch some TV - gotta find out about all my sunshine right?? LOL How bout four days of rain and overcast skies. Don't you love vacations??

to be continued...

A Fruity Pebble in a World of Cheerios

Have you noticed that you can find wonderful inspiration on Facebook? Today a friend posted in her status that she was a Fruit Loop in a bowl of cheerios and this got me thinking...  Cheerios aren't bad - in fact they are very good for you but Fruit Loops are more colorful and much tastier! Honestly I liked the thought of choosing to be identified as something out of the ordinary like the Horse of Another Color in The Wizard of Oz. Her comparison of herself got me to thinking - what kind of cereal am I?? Odd I know but well that's how my mind works.

After much thought I decided that Fruity Pebbles work best for me. Not only are they colorful, they make some serious noise (kinda like my joints LOL). Fruity Pebbles aren't made of wheat like most cereals but of rice which is awesome! You see, I have a low tolerance to wheat products and as a child spent years not being able to eat any wheat! Fruity Pebbles were one of the "treats" that I could have because well they are different. They're based upon a classic cartoon - how FUN is that?! All you have to do is look at them and you smile.

All kidding aside, God created each of us in HIS own image and yet we are each differently and wonderfully made. In all of the history of Earth there is only one you, and if you had been the only person ever born after the fall of Adam and Eve Messiah Christ would have still come to Earth to live as a human and sacrifice Himself so that you could be ransomed. That's just how much God loves each one of us individuals He created.

I am so happy that God made me a Fruity Pebble in a world of Cheerios.

I am unique, full of color and a bit noisy at times.

To some I may seem a bit crazy but Jesus thought I was worth dying for!

Thank you Lord God Almighty for your gift of my Blessed Redeemer Jesus Christ!

God bless and sweet dreams!

PS:

In case you think that Fruity Pebbles are a bit out there as a reference for talking about God, take a look as HIS fruity pebbles! They are gravel and dust particles from Mars and just like me they were made by an infinatly creative God!! As He said to Job; "Were you there when I laid the foundations of the Earth?" I know I wasn't and wouldn't even begin to limit His all encompassing power!

The Winding Road Home

Have you ever felt like you'd never FIND home much less GET home?? I've a couple friends who along with myself have felt this way before. I am proud to have been born in Richmond, Virginia. I grew up in Prince William County in Northern Virginia and have lived in Chicago, IL and Yuma, AZ as an adult. All three of these places hold a special place in my heart for different reasons but it wasn't until I moved to southwestern Virginia and particularly Franklin County, home of Ferrum College and touted as the Moonshine Capital of the world, that I finally understood the concept of home. Rocky Mount is the county seat and has quickly become home.

One of the wonderful things about returning to this area is that I had friends here already. The first were a dear couple that I knew from Riverview Baptist Church were the girls and I attended for years in Woodbrige. The second - who were a total suprise and have been a huge blessing - are Shari & Brent Good. Thank you Facebook!!

Another grand thing about coming back here was the sense of security that the mountians provide. I was in need of a haven, a safe place, protection and comfort. Driving into Rocky Mount from Roanoke feels like you are crossing over into a special place - a spot set round about with mountians and filled with the love and protection of the Lord. It is an incredible feeling of security and welcome.

This week I get the blessing of welcoming another friend whom I have known for almost ever to my haven. It is my prayer that she too will find "home" here and that her family will feel the same comfort and security. Life is pretty good... not that its perfect but being home - that sense of walking in the door and taking a big breath that instantly relaxes you - makes the rough spots easier to deal with doesn't it? Home is such a blessing from God and I am so thankful to Him for leading me down that long twisting road that brought me here.

sweet dreams y'all!

NOT Another Manic Monday

As Mondays go this on has been pretty good, so good in fact that for the first 6-8 hours I thought it was TUESDAY. nothing very extraordinary happened today, but a few small things went well and smoothly enough to lull me into a sense of un-Monday calmness. Lost items were found, chores were done, conversations happened and "God appointments" kept in a timely fashion.

One lovely thing about not being allowed to work is that you get to throw away your day planner. Now God sets my appointments and I just follow along. Two of these happened at Tanglewood mall this evening and since I don't have to be up and out early it didn't matter that I stayed and chatted. Encouraging one another is such a blessing!

All in all the only down side of this Monday has been missing my girls so much. Everyone is rushing about in a flurry of back to school activity and I am left with an empty nest. In the back of my mind a song has been quietly resurfacing from many many years ago. I couldn't remember who sang it or the title but the tune was there and a sense of longing for the lyrics and the voice.

Low and behold when I turned on Pandora just a bit ago that song was the first one to play. It is called "If I Could See the World (Through the Eyes of a Child)" and I've copied the lyrics to share with you tonight:

Written by Sammy Masters, Richard Pope and Tex Satterwhite

(As released by Patsy Cline 9/9/58)

If I could see the world
Thru the eyes of a child
What a wonderful world this would be
There'd be no trouble and no strife
Just a big happy life
With a bluebird in every tree
(Chorus)
I could see right, no wrong
I could see good, no bad
I could see all the good things
In life I've never had
If I could see the world
Thru the eyes of a child
What a wonderful world this would be
If I could see the world
Thru the eyes of a child
Smiling faces would greet me all the while
Like a lovely work of art
It would warm my weary heart
Just to see thru the eyes of a child
(Repeat chorus)
© Universal Songs of Polygram (BMI)

Summer Sundays

Soft sunrises
Bells ringing us to Worship
Walking after supper
Afternoons spent with friends and family
Relaxing evenings reading
Soulful sunsets


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A Day at the Farmers' Market

Welcome to the Rocky Mount Farmers' Market. This is where I spend my Saturdays peddling my wares (jewelry & photography).



The day actually starts Friday night with packing up any new creations and putting drinks and yogurt in the freezer. At 7am the alarm rings... And again at 7:30 in case I ignore the first one. Time to get up, pull back my hair and walk the dog. While he eats I pack my lunch and load the car. If all goes well we are out the door by 7:45.

The goal is to have the table set up by 8am and if we are lucky to snag an extra table for the framed photo collages. Sorting out the earrings is always an adventure - somehow when no one is watching mates tend to get lost from each other and occasionally one disappears all together. It's rather like washing sox! Very weird.

Once the jewelry is sorted and laid out it's time to put out the notecards and framed pictures. Not as nerve wracking as the earrings to be sure! Just a matter of finding a pleasing arraignment and trying to fit everything on one table. Then comes the waiting...

The great thing about the market has got to be the friends you make. Tucker makes many many friends among the children who come and I've made friends among the vendors. About 10am the foot traffic picks up, some of the older ladies stop by to chat and check on us.

Visiting is a grand way to spend a day. We enjoy a nice breeze most every weekend and the market is in a covered area downtown.


It's a lovely small town we live in and I couldn't be happier.

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Good News x 3

Just a short note tonight...

1.) The Christian Edge at Tanglewood Mall has taken some 25 sets of my jewelry on commission and wants more. They also want me to write a bio/testimony to go on my display. That bit I'm ok with kinda, putting up a picture of me not so much! We'll have to see what I come up with.

2.) In a tie for first place actually comes the news that my dear friend Terri is moving to the Roanoke area. She will be working in the "city" (those of y'all we grew up with will totally understand the quotes) and living down here in Rocky Mount hopefully. Watch out G-F people, I have found the perfect place to live and am bent on sharing it with as many of y'all as possible!

3.) I found a guitar teacher to give me lessons - bartering help with social media and Microsoft Windows. I love bartering!

Still waiting to hear about disability and workers' comp so
I can get the much needed PT on my knee but hey - life is pretty good in southwest VA!


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It's A Sad Day in Franklin County

I'm taking a break tonight from my regular random rantings to bring you this heartfelt message:

IF YOU SEE OR HEAR AN EMERGANCY VEHICLE GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF THE WAY!

also THERE ARE SEAT BELTS IN YOUR VEHICLE FOR A REASON. USE THEM!

Yes I am yelling. Yes I used foul language. NO I won't apologize!! If you want to know why then read these. If you still have questions I'll let you know when the funerals are and we can go together. You can explain to the widows and fatherless children why YOU could be the next person to cause a tragedy like this.

http://www.wdbj7.com/news/wdbj7-story-fire-truck-wreck-072610,0,3552821.story

http://www.roanoke.com/news/breaking/wb/254917

http://roanoke.com/photography/slideshows/galleries/072610_firecrash/gallery.html

May the Lord Our God
Who supplies all our needs
Who holds us up when we can no longer stand
Who comforts us where no earthly comfort can reach us
be with the families, co-workers and loved ones of these two brave men.

Rest in Peace
Posey Dillon, Rocky Mount Fire Chief, Vice Mayor and Council Member
http://www.legacy.com/guestbook/roanoke/guestbook.aspx?n=posey-dillon&pid=144323471&cid=full

Rest in Peace
William "Danny" Altice, Rocky Mount Fire Fighter
http://www.legacy.com/guestbook/roanoke/guestbook.aspx?n=william-altice&pid=144323481&cid=full

Sheets, Sheep and Sleep

For the first time in resent memory I got eight hours of sleep last night. That's the good news, the bad news ~ no sleep happening here tonight. This is a condition that is all to familiar in my world. Most of the time when it is this bad I become so restless that the sheets are changed at least once. Any little wrinkle or crumb or stray hair drives me up the wall. While most people count sheep when they can't sleep reading seems to work best for me ~ usually Ecclesiastes or Numbers, something really boring. Unfortunately neither of these result in sleep most of the time.

So, what do you do with untold hours of free time, no cable and no one to talk to? Tonight I organized the apps on my iPhone after working on jewelry, matting & framing photos and making 30 new photo note cards. Oh, also redesigned my business cards and made posters to advertise Home Grown Jewelry at the Farmers' Market. But back to the app organization. The first two pages of apps are the ones I use most in category order based on use and how convenient the spot is to my thumbs...don't ask. Then we have a page of games that have been alphabetized ~ they used to just kinda lay there in order of purchase which made no sense what so ever except that the newer games I was learning to play were at the bottom while old favorites were at the top. After the games come the e-books, only two and a half pages thank you very much! (i have about 100 more in my itunes account on lappy but we won't go there ok?)

Organizing the books alphabetically took the most time and thought. Should you go by author? What about title? Do you count "the" as a word? After some mental discussion that degraded into debate it was decided between me, myself and I (a committee of one) that "the" is NOT a word as far as alphabetizing no matter what the newer thoughts on the matter are and that separating by author and then title was silly as some apps have complete works of more that one author. In the end it was rather easier than I had made it out to be, which is rather common in my world, but there are still bugs to be worked out. Some of the icons have book covers on them where as some only have the first initial of the author's last name which is disconcerting when you look at the apps and see a "D" floating around in the "T"s (Dicken's A Tale of Two Cities) where upon it must be mentioned that "A" is not a word in my alphabetical world either.

All of this completed it must be said again... I AM NOT OCD!!!

Right. so before the urge to change the sheets hits again or all my sheep go on strike it might be best to try and get some sleep... HA

Good night dear friends, sweet dreams and may the Lord our God bless you each!

Glenn Beck - Current Events & Politics - Make the Pledge - 40 Days and 40 Nights

Glenn Beck - Current Events & Politics - Make the Pledge - 40 Days and 40 Nights

I AM NOT OCD

So... in filling out all the lovely paperwork for Social Security Disability I had to list EVERYTHING the doctors have diagnosed me with. In order to do this properly I of course contacted all 5 doctors and requested a list of "issues" because at this point in life my "top five" has grown to ten. I can't remember them all much less EVERYTHING. It became very interesting reading because I didn't even recognize some of the stuff on there. See... if you ignore it, it WILL go away!!

I sent in 13 pages from those sweet doctors (I'm sure it was a nurse or admin that did the paperwork but hey I have my doctors pretty well trained at this point). The most interesting thing is that in all those pages OCD was not mentioned once! There it is official!! Of course I didn't get anything from my therapist but then she isn't a doctor and I've not seen her in 7 years or more so why confuse the issue.

Filling out all this paperwork has been an education. My favorite part is the section in the pain file where they gave me 3 lines to list my pain meds. I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle and had to take a flexeril! 3 lines - seriously?? If that was all I needed I would NOT be applying for disability now would I?! Since I am NOT OCD I decided the best way to deal with this was to call my case worker. That was a fun conversation.

First let me tell y'all I owe the earth a couple trees for this whole thing... So in my world it seems that 18 months of prescriptions from 4 pharmacies requires - drum roll please - 40ish pages of print outs, most both sided. Add to that the 30 plus sheets SSI sent me that were printed on both sides and you begin to picture why I owe the earth a tree or twenty. Thankfully everything is filled out and has been sent in... now its their problem. Oh, and just so y'all know they will be contacting my doctors both down here and in NOVA and requesting transcripts of all my records. Perhaps I should just start planting a new forest somewhere...

How many medications do you take a day for pain Ms. Saenz?
Well... do anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers count as well as straight pain meds?
Yes ma'am they do.
Do you want just the main meds or the break through meds too?
All of them would be best.
(Me wondering if there is enough paper for this) Well, the thing is we change the mix every 6 months so I don't build a tolerance to either pain med since I am allergic to most of them.
Perhaps you could just send in a list of your prescriptions for the last year.
All of them? For everything??
Yes ma'am.
OK... thank you.

Back to the point of this post. After a careful review of all these pages of paper and medical information OCD was no where to be found. I am very pleased with that. Its the small things in life that make me happy.
Oh and in case you were wondering. My day starts with Naproxen, Baclifin and Darvocet. This coctail is repeated midday and at bedtime (traiding the Naproxen for Meloxicam). For break through pain I can take tramadon, motrin and flexiril. Yup peeps... thats just the pain meds. And y'all wonder why I am the way I am!! LOL

Lets review shall we? SSI needs to be careful what they ask for, I am NOT OCD and I owe y'all a forest. Just another day in my life          8-D

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off

OR: An Intro to Meniere's Disease

Meniere's Disease is a very disturbing illness, presenting patients with hearing loss, pressure in the ear, tinnitus, severe imbalance and vertigo.

Vertigo is the most dramatic and distressing symptom of Meniere's; it is described as a sudden loss of normal balance or equilibrium. The room may suddenly begin to spin and rotate at high speed. Focusing is difficult, and if the vertigo continues, nausea and vomiting may occur. Vertigo is commonnly caused by acute labyrinthitis (a viral inflammation of the inner ear), benign positional vertigo (a condition due to abnormally floating crystals in the inner ear that stimulate the nerve endings of the inner ear), delayed symptom of head injury, or result of cervical spine problems.

Hearing loss typically fluctuates with hearing being worse some days than others. The hearing loss in Meniere's may lead to severe permanent hearing loss and deafness in the affected ear.

People with Meniere's Disease report that tinnitus may be variable and often worsen before an attack of vertigo. Tinnitus is often described as a motor-like whirring noise present only in the ear with the hearing loss.

Pressure or a sense of fullness in the affected ear are also common.

Meniere's Disease rarely occurs in children. In most cases, it begins in both men and women in the thirties or early middle age. Also, Meniere's is rarely noted for the first time in older people. Ear surgeons see many patients with dizziness. Very few of these patients actually have Meniere's Disease.

SYMPTOMS

Symptoms of Meniere's Disease come in cycles. The patient suffers multiple episodes lasting several months at a time; then, it generally subsides. In some individuals, the symptoms seem to be more severe in spring, fall or when under extra emotional stress.

The most unpredictable and frightening symptom of Meniere's Disease is vertigo. The vertigo in Meniere's Disease is thought to result from an accumulation of excessive fluid in the inner ear. The fluid pressure stretches the membranes, that divide the compartments of the inner ear. As the membranes of the inner ear stretch, hearing diminishes and tinnitus worsens. When the membranes are severely stretched, the fluids of the inner ear may rupture them. This results in mixing of the fluids, one rich in sodium, the other rich in potassium. The mixture of these fluids is thought to bring on the vertigo.

After the membranes rupture, they eventually heal, but some hearing is usually lost. Surprisingly, with salt restriction, careful dietary planning and a mild diuretic, the symptoms of Meniere's Disease will often subside. In some cases, hearing can return to normal.

Classic symptoms of Meniere's aren't always present. Sometimes, hearing loss will precede episodes of vertigo by several years. Tinnitus alone, without associated hearing loss or vertigo, is rarely caused by Meniere's Disease. The only symptom in very early cases of Meniere's may be a sense of fullness or pressure in one ear.

Being me, I have Meniere's Disease in BOTH ears cause I am special. My attacks come with the afore mentioned warning of pressure/fullness in one or both ears and often a period of deafness - which is a nice break from the ringing/whining noise I must say!

This episode started with fullness in the wee hours of Saturday morning and dizziness through out the day. The deaf period began yesterday evening first in the right ear for about 30 minutes and later last night in both ears for about 5 minutes proving the adage that silence is truly golden. About 12:30 this morning the vertigo kicked in... Totally different from dizzy trust me!!

Tucker is very good at sensing when an attack is coming, bless him, and insists on staying practically glued to me. Considering the length of the deaf spells and the severity of the vertigo I will probably be 'down' or spinning out of control for another 24-36 hours.

And now you know...

Friday, Friday

Where did the week go?! I've managed to get nothing of great importance done but have accomplished alot. Does that even make sense?? In the past three days I've consulted with four doctors, two social security disability workers and five social media jewelry pros all from the comfort of my own bed. (see previous blog) Modern technology rocks!! Even better - I've been able to enjoy the smell of slow cooking soup wafting from the kitchen. Not bad for waking up and realizing Friday snuck up on you again!

Actually Friday has perfect timing as usual. I'm out of my fresh organic fruits and local grown veggies but Saturday brings the farmers' market and a chance to restock. Friday also means that most of the world (at least those who have a life) will be out and about tonight leaving the laundry room free for me. Normal people have date night, I have laundry night *sigh*.

The only downside to Friday night is all of the new movies come out - and with the the craving for movie popcorn - and there is no one to see a movie with nor the money to burn to see said movies so again with the laundry. Sometimes being single stinks. Other times - like when you cook soup for 36 hours or want to make fish for breakfast - it works out pretty well.

Anyway, must get off and moving before saturday arrives!

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The Comfort of My Own Bed

We all have days when we just don't want to get out of bed - and days the rest of the world probably wishes we hadn't. Those days when we wake up with a headache or don't fall asleep until the hour our alarm goes off or we get up and in the first ten minutes a hundred things go wrong are hard on us and those around us. The key to surviving days like that is attitude and perspective.

Today was one of those days for me, I knew it was time to get up but my body just didn't want to. Unfortunately for me on days like this my body usually wins because, well because the mind and spirit are willing but the flesh is weak. See in the world of chronic pain there are days when you literally can not get out of bed, not because you don't feel like it but because you aren't able. Sure, once I got sitting up I could have moved my legs over the edge of the bed (by grabbing my knees and MOVING my legs) bit would YOU want to walk around on sword tips while a thousand needles were jabbed in your legs? I didn't think so! Better to take another round of meds (now kept in my bedside table and not the bathroom for just such reasons) and wait for the pain to ease up.

So now we come to the question of what to do while 'relaxing in the comfort' of bed. One can choose to dwell on the pain, complain about the fact that if you take it easy on your legs it's makes your back hurt all the more, obsess about what you could/should/want to be doing or (and this is a BIG OR) you can use the time for more important things - positive things.

Instead of dwelling on the needles, pins and knives in my legs today I chose to spend my 'down' time praying and reading. Usually on days like this I read Job cause well he's my man. Satan took away all Job had in life - his children, his fortune and his health - and Job still chose to praise God through it all. Even when Mrs. Job yelled "Curse God and die" from the hovel they were living in up to the top of the trash heap Job was sitting on he refused to turn His back on God. Much as I love Job today I wanted something different so I started reading Psalms which I don't often do. I started with the First Psalm figuring I'd get to the Twenty-Third pretty fast but there is a lot of meat on those poetic bones! After an hour or more I got to the 22nd Psalm and there stopped to dwell.

"I am poured out like water,
And all my bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It has melted within me.
My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
My tongue clings to my jaws;
And you have brought me to the dust of death."

Well hello! If that didn't describe how I felt I don't know what could! Needless to say I went back to the beginning of the Psalm and REALLY read it. While this is one of the prophetic Psalms describing Messiah it is also a promise that I really need to hear sometimes. God hasn't forgotten me, He doesn't despise me, He hasn't turned His back on me or caused this to happen to me. He has ALLOWED it to happen, not MADE it happen and there is a difference.

God hears my prayers and He answers them! Sometimes I don't like the answers ('Lord, I want to feel better' meant I wanted to be like everyone else NOT be told I HAD to go on disability) but if we take time (like when we are stuck in bed) and are in the right frame of mind (dwelling on the things of Heaven and not the pain or what we can't do perhaps?) things come to light that were missed in the darkness of our personal gloom.

I got phone calls made AND got answers today because i took time to really explain what I wanted, how much I needed and what I needed it for. I prayed for people today that I haven't seen in years because I had the time to go down my Facebook friends list and do that. And perhaps most importantly I was reminded that there is no amount of physical pain that I suffer which Christ has not already felt and dealt with.
So, the next time I have a day that sees me spending more time in bed then I would like you know what I'll be doing - after I take my meds - I'll be going back to the Book, looking for more comfort and going over my list of friends and family praying for their comfort!

Sometimes I think it would be nice to spend a day in bed being lazy, eating bonbons and reading magazines but truthfully that's not how I'm made. So for now it's 'up and at'em' every chance I get and when my body decides otherwise, well I'll put my willing mind to good use while the weak body gets the rest it demands.


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Have you ever wondered...

why Mondays are so hard? After reading so many comments on Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare today I put some thought into it and being me (I am NOT OCD) I have bulleted them...

• We get 24 hours in a day 8 of which are supposed to be dedicated to sleep. This leaves us 16 hours of which we spend 8 at the aforementioned work or school not to mention the prep and driving time which easily eat up 2 hours at either end shortening our time to 4 hours. 4 hours to spend preparing for the next day, preparing dinner, preparing to sleep, preparing our children to do their best at school and trying to relax with our loved ones.
• We get 7 days in a week 5 of which we spend at work or school or driving around in circles trying to get people to work and school. This gives us 2 days a week to cram in quality time with our loved ones - worship services, sports, shopping, family activities, yard work, shopping, special events and the ever dreaded overtime
• We get 52 weeks in a year - out of that most get 2 weeks for vacation. I'll admit I'm really bad at math but 2 out of 52 doesn't seem like much to spend with the people that mean the most to you.

It would seem to me that Mondays are especially hard on us because whether we work outside the home or not they denote the start of the stop watch that controls most of our lives. There just isn't any other day of the week that seems as onerous as the one that rings the death knoll to our beloved "free time". Even if we aren't working - stay at home mom (bless you cause I KNOW an 8-5 is more restful) disabled, retired or whatever - Mondays are when the banks and offices are open which means we have a list of things that need to be taken care of or will be getting phone calls that give us knew things to take care of that we didn't even plan on adding to our lists. There is also the Post Office, sure they deliver on Saturday but do we really care? I don't even check my box most Saturdays!

So why are Mondays so manic? Well, seems to me that we are trading the running in circles of our "freetime" for just plain running in circles.

Besides - what other day is half MONster and half weakDAY?

A Presidential Proclamation and Isaiah 65

No, this is not President Obama speaking. Its not even President Reagan - that great man of faith. First read it and notice how timely it is... I'll tell you who issued this official proclamation later.

"Whereas it is the duty of Nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling Power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet will assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon, and to recognize the Sublime Truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all History, that those Nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord.
...We have been the recipients of the choicest of bounties of Heaven; we have been preserve these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nations has ever grown. BUT WE HAVE FORGOTTEN GOD. We have forgotten the Gracious Hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and straightened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.
It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our National Sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness."

I found this while reading Isaiah 65 today.
The first half of that chapter talks about the Righteousness of God's Judgement against a people who said to Him "keep to Yourself. Do not come near me, for I am holier than you!" Doesn't that sound like America today? A nation that "walks in a way that is not goo, according to their own thoughts". God goes on to tell Isaiah that this nation that didn't answer when He called, didn't hear when He spoke, who prefer Fortune & Destiny and did what was evil will be numbered for the sword. Sin earns destruction - whether individually or nationally "the wages of sin are death".

Isaiah goes on to write though, that God promises good for those who are His servants. In a detailed list He promises that His servants will eat, drink, rejoice and sing for joy while the rebellious will go hungry, thirst, be ashamed, cry from broken-heartedness and wail in grief of spirit.

Ever merciful God ends His this warning to Isaiah with a beautiful description of the Glorious New Creation - the new heavens and new earth. This passage ends with one of the most beautiful word pictures in the Old Testament: "It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer;And while they are still speaking, I will hear.The wolf and the lamb shall feed together,The lion shall eat straw like the ox,And dust shall be the serpent's food.They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My Holy Mountain,"Says the Lord our God."

While I know the last glorious passage will not come to pass until Christ returns and every knee has bowed to Him in Heaven and on Earth, I cannot but marvel at how close America has come to the description of the "rebellious nation" and it scares me. Please take a moment today and read Isaiah 65, then read the news headlines, then pray. Prayer for our country and its leaders, for the upcoming elections and most importantly beseeching God for forgive our national sin of turning our backs upon Him on Whom our country was founded. Pray for your neighbors, pray for your children's future, pray for mercy and guidance.

Goodbye Sweet Maggie

Though you were only with us for a little time you quickly stile our hearts.

Your perky prance, your precious painted paws, leap-frogging over your big brother because you couldn't be still - you will be missed sweet little one!

So much love in such a small package. Tucker and I won't know what to do without you running laps in the living room. I'll miss laughing because your long legs have gotten tangled in your leash. Somehow sweet Maggie I don't see Tucker letting me paint his nails to match mine like you did, you were truelly a princess and let no one forget it.

REST IN PEACE
PRINCESS MAGNOLIA OKAMI

Easter Sunday April 12, 2009
To Friday June 25, 2010


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Life Marchs On

Seems as if Spring happened here in Roanoke when no one was watching! 60 degree temps, sunshine and flowers peeking out from under patches of snow (yes we still have snow on the ground). Spring is a wonderful time of new beginnings and I'm gonna grab it for all it's worth!
My blood pressure is stablized, I've got leads on a couple city government jobs and Ruth is getting ready for her Odessey of the Mind competition. There are still struggles (hello - I have a tween!) but life is pretty good. All I have to do is remember that God is in control and follow where He leads!!
So with that in mind... I'm marching on!!


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It's Another Manic Monday

Discovered one good thing about what happened on Friday... When the alarm went off this morning I dreaded pulling myself into the insanity that is 'the office'. Fortunatly, I don't have to now that 'the assignment has been terminated'. This good news means that I got to sleep for another hour, the bad news is I spent half that time dwelling on bills and unemployment. Ah well, it's Monday - a good day to start over! The birds are singing, the sun is shining and God is still on His Throne. Everything will be alright!!


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TGIF

Today has been a really bad, horrible, no good, rotten day! Went into work where the work I like - the people are ok - the atmosphere is NUTS - and got told that it was my last day.

Don't really feel like talking but wanted to ask for prayers.

More later.


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Happy Birthday Shari

It is amazing what wonderful re-connections Facebook allows us to make. Over the last year or so I have re-connected with many people from my school days but none so closely as with my dear friend Shari who celebrates her birthday today.

We had lost track of one another after Gar-Field and through Facebook found that we live within 30 minutes of each other and have girls with much the same interests. Kim - Shari's daughter - is older than Ruth but younger than Nikki. Ruth and Kim get along great and share many interests which means Shari, Brent and I get to spend time together. In fact they allowed me to spend Christmas day with them while Ruth was out of state at her father's.

Shari is an amazingly sweet lady - just as I remember from school - who spends her days teaching in a small rural County Middle School just the other side of the mountains from Roanoke. Today she is at work teaching our future but I pray that she has a day filled with good wishes and moments of surprise and happiness such as benefits the birthday of such a special person.

So... in honor of this day Shari -

May God bless you just as you have blessed the lives of so many around you,

May He fill your day with warmth and laughter and your evening with the comfort and love of your family,

May He shine His face upon you this coming year with mercy and grace - and may you always know that you are loved!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR FRIEND!

Proverbs 23 - New King James Version - BibleGateway.com

I'm reading a chapter Proverbs a day. Today's chapter is
Proverbs 23 - Passage Lookup - New King James Version - BibleGateway.com:
I've chosen these verses to concentrate on as the day goes by...

"v4 Do not overwork to be rich;
Because of your own understanding, cease!
v5 Will you set your eyes on that which is not?
For riches certainly make themselves wings;
They fly away like an eagle toward heaven."

What a good reminder that things of this world, which we all struggle so hard to have, are fleeting! I really must remember to spend my time at home with Ruth WITH RUTH and really put my drive time to better use like I did when I commuted to DC every day... Driving is such a great place for talking with God!!

Hope you all have a blessed and safe Tuesday and that the sun is shining on you where ever you are!

Well Begun...

...might be but half done, but 'tis a BIG half!! Now that I've found an iPhone app updating could become as addictive as Facebook and Twitter!


Here is a picture of my dear eldest daughter Nicole Kathleen sending out love at valentine's day.

Below is a picture of Ruth, rather upset with me because of my refusal to save a picture that looked more like a FBI most wanted poster than her showing of her new style.



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Finding Lamentation's End

Come and wander with me a bit

Down through the mountains

of God's glory

and along the pathways

of His blessings

and together we will find

Lamentation's End.

So reads the quote box on my Facebook page... Seems we are all searching for Lamentation's End with out ever really finding it - at least not permanently. So I invite you all - whomever may want - to wander with me a bit through my day and my mind. Perhaps we won't find Lamentation's End but hopefully we will find joy in the moments and peace in the journey.