It's A Sad Day in Franklin County

I'm taking a break tonight from my regular random rantings to bring you this heartfelt message:

IF YOU SEE OR HEAR AN EMERGANCY VEHICLE GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF THE WAY!

also THERE ARE SEAT BELTS IN YOUR VEHICLE FOR A REASON. USE THEM!

Yes I am yelling. Yes I used foul language. NO I won't apologize!! If you want to know why then read these. If you still have questions I'll let you know when the funerals are and we can go together. You can explain to the widows and fatherless children why YOU could be the next person to cause a tragedy like this.

http://www.wdbj7.com/news/wdbj7-story-fire-truck-wreck-072610,0,3552821.story

http://www.roanoke.com/news/breaking/wb/254917

http://roanoke.com/photography/slideshows/galleries/072610_firecrash/gallery.html

May the Lord Our God
Who supplies all our needs
Who holds us up when we can no longer stand
Who comforts us where no earthly comfort can reach us
be with the families, co-workers and loved ones of these two brave men.

Rest in Peace
Posey Dillon, Rocky Mount Fire Chief, Vice Mayor and Council Member
http://www.legacy.com/guestbook/roanoke/guestbook.aspx?n=posey-dillon&pid=144323471&cid=full

Rest in Peace
William "Danny" Altice, Rocky Mount Fire Fighter
http://www.legacy.com/guestbook/roanoke/guestbook.aspx?n=william-altice&pid=144323481&cid=full

Sheets, Sheep and Sleep

For the first time in resent memory I got eight hours of sleep last night. That's the good news, the bad news ~ no sleep happening here tonight. This is a condition that is all to familiar in my world. Most of the time when it is this bad I become so restless that the sheets are changed at least once. Any little wrinkle or crumb or stray hair drives me up the wall. While most people count sheep when they can't sleep reading seems to work best for me ~ usually Ecclesiastes or Numbers, something really boring. Unfortunately neither of these result in sleep most of the time.

So, what do you do with untold hours of free time, no cable and no one to talk to? Tonight I organized the apps on my iPhone after working on jewelry, matting & framing photos and making 30 new photo note cards. Oh, also redesigned my business cards and made posters to advertise Home Grown Jewelry at the Farmers' Market. But back to the app organization. The first two pages of apps are the ones I use most in category order based on use and how convenient the spot is to my thumbs...don't ask. Then we have a page of games that have been alphabetized ~ they used to just kinda lay there in order of purchase which made no sense what so ever except that the newer games I was learning to play were at the bottom while old favorites were at the top. After the games come the e-books, only two and a half pages thank you very much! (i have about 100 more in my itunes account on lappy but we won't go there ok?)

Organizing the books alphabetically took the most time and thought. Should you go by author? What about title? Do you count "the" as a word? After some mental discussion that degraded into debate it was decided between me, myself and I (a committee of one) that "the" is NOT a word as far as alphabetizing no matter what the newer thoughts on the matter are and that separating by author and then title was silly as some apps have complete works of more that one author. In the end it was rather easier than I had made it out to be, which is rather common in my world, but there are still bugs to be worked out. Some of the icons have book covers on them where as some only have the first initial of the author's last name which is disconcerting when you look at the apps and see a "D" floating around in the "T"s (Dicken's A Tale of Two Cities) where upon it must be mentioned that "A" is not a word in my alphabetical world either.

All of this completed it must be said again... I AM NOT OCD!!!

Right. so before the urge to change the sheets hits again or all my sheep go on strike it might be best to try and get some sleep... HA

Good night dear friends, sweet dreams and may the Lord our God bless you each!

Glenn Beck - Current Events & Politics - Make the Pledge - 40 Days and 40 Nights

Glenn Beck - Current Events & Politics - Make the Pledge - 40 Days and 40 Nights

I AM NOT OCD

So... in filling out all the lovely paperwork for Social Security Disability I had to list EVERYTHING the doctors have diagnosed me with. In order to do this properly I of course contacted all 5 doctors and requested a list of "issues" because at this point in life my "top five" has grown to ten. I can't remember them all much less EVERYTHING. It became very interesting reading because I didn't even recognize some of the stuff on there. See... if you ignore it, it WILL go away!!

I sent in 13 pages from those sweet doctors (I'm sure it was a nurse or admin that did the paperwork but hey I have my doctors pretty well trained at this point). The most interesting thing is that in all those pages OCD was not mentioned once! There it is official!! Of course I didn't get anything from my therapist but then she isn't a doctor and I've not seen her in 7 years or more so why confuse the issue.

Filling out all this paperwork has been an education. My favorite part is the section in the pain file where they gave me 3 lines to list my pain meds. I laughed so hard I pulled a muscle and had to take a flexeril! 3 lines - seriously?? If that was all I needed I would NOT be applying for disability now would I?! Since I am NOT OCD I decided the best way to deal with this was to call my case worker. That was a fun conversation.

First let me tell y'all I owe the earth a couple trees for this whole thing... So in my world it seems that 18 months of prescriptions from 4 pharmacies requires - drum roll please - 40ish pages of print outs, most both sided. Add to that the 30 plus sheets SSI sent me that were printed on both sides and you begin to picture why I owe the earth a tree or twenty. Thankfully everything is filled out and has been sent in... now its their problem. Oh, and just so y'all know they will be contacting my doctors both down here and in NOVA and requesting transcripts of all my records. Perhaps I should just start planting a new forest somewhere...

How many medications do you take a day for pain Ms. Saenz?
Well... do anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxers count as well as straight pain meds?
Yes ma'am they do.
Do you want just the main meds or the break through meds too?
All of them would be best.
(Me wondering if there is enough paper for this) Well, the thing is we change the mix every 6 months so I don't build a tolerance to either pain med since I am allergic to most of them.
Perhaps you could just send in a list of your prescriptions for the last year.
All of them? For everything??
Yes ma'am.
OK... thank you.

Back to the point of this post. After a careful review of all these pages of paper and medical information OCD was no where to be found. I am very pleased with that. Its the small things in life that make me happy.
Oh and in case you were wondering. My day starts with Naproxen, Baclifin and Darvocet. This coctail is repeated midday and at bedtime (traiding the Naproxen for Meloxicam). For break through pain I can take tramadon, motrin and flexiril. Yup peeps... thats just the pain meds. And y'all wonder why I am the way I am!! LOL

Lets review shall we? SSI needs to be careful what they ask for, I am NOT OCD and I owe y'all a forest. Just another day in my life          8-D

Stop The World I Wanna Get Off

OR: An Intro to Meniere's Disease

Meniere's Disease is a very disturbing illness, presenting patients with hearing loss, pressure in the ear, tinnitus, severe imbalance and vertigo.

Vertigo is the most dramatic and distressing symptom of Meniere's; it is described as a sudden loss of normal balance or equilibrium. The room may suddenly begin to spin and rotate at high speed. Focusing is difficult, and if the vertigo continues, nausea and vomiting may occur. Vertigo is commonnly caused by acute labyrinthitis (a viral inflammation of the inner ear), benign positional vertigo (a condition due to abnormally floating crystals in the inner ear that stimulate the nerve endings of the inner ear), delayed symptom of head injury, or result of cervical spine problems.

Hearing loss typically fluctuates with hearing being worse some days than others. The hearing loss in Meniere's may lead to severe permanent hearing loss and deafness in the affected ear.

People with Meniere's Disease report that tinnitus may be variable and often worsen before an attack of vertigo. Tinnitus is often described as a motor-like whirring noise present only in the ear with the hearing loss.

Pressure or a sense of fullness in the affected ear are also common.

Meniere's Disease rarely occurs in children. In most cases, it begins in both men and women in the thirties or early middle age. Also, Meniere's is rarely noted for the first time in older people. Ear surgeons see many patients with dizziness. Very few of these patients actually have Meniere's Disease.

SYMPTOMS

Symptoms of Meniere's Disease come in cycles. The patient suffers multiple episodes lasting several months at a time; then, it generally subsides. In some individuals, the symptoms seem to be more severe in spring, fall or when under extra emotional stress.

The most unpredictable and frightening symptom of Meniere's Disease is vertigo. The vertigo in Meniere's Disease is thought to result from an accumulation of excessive fluid in the inner ear. The fluid pressure stretches the membranes, that divide the compartments of the inner ear. As the membranes of the inner ear stretch, hearing diminishes and tinnitus worsens. When the membranes are severely stretched, the fluids of the inner ear may rupture them. This results in mixing of the fluids, one rich in sodium, the other rich in potassium. The mixture of these fluids is thought to bring on the vertigo.

After the membranes rupture, they eventually heal, but some hearing is usually lost. Surprisingly, with salt restriction, careful dietary planning and a mild diuretic, the symptoms of Meniere's Disease will often subside. In some cases, hearing can return to normal.

Classic symptoms of Meniere's aren't always present. Sometimes, hearing loss will precede episodes of vertigo by several years. Tinnitus alone, without associated hearing loss or vertigo, is rarely caused by Meniere's Disease. The only symptom in very early cases of Meniere's may be a sense of fullness or pressure in one ear.

Being me, I have Meniere's Disease in BOTH ears cause I am special. My attacks come with the afore mentioned warning of pressure/fullness in one or both ears and often a period of deafness - which is a nice break from the ringing/whining noise I must say!

This episode started with fullness in the wee hours of Saturday morning and dizziness through out the day. The deaf period began yesterday evening first in the right ear for about 30 minutes and later last night in both ears for about 5 minutes proving the adage that silence is truly golden. About 12:30 this morning the vertigo kicked in... Totally different from dizzy trust me!!

Tucker is very good at sensing when an attack is coming, bless him, and insists on staying practically glued to me. Considering the length of the deaf spells and the severity of the vertigo I will probably be 'down' or spinning out of control for another 24-36 hours.

And now you know...

Friday, Friday

Where did the week go?! I've managed to get nothing of great importance done but have accomplished alot. Does that even make sense?? In the past three days I've consulted with four doctors, two social security disability workers and five social media jewelry pros all from the comfort of my own bed. (see previous blog) Modern technology rocks!! Even better - I've been able to enjoy the smell of slow cooking soup wafting from the kitchen. Not bad for waking up and realizing Friday snuck up on you again!

Actually Friday has perfect timing as usual. I'm out of my fresh organic fruits and local grown veggies but Saturday brings the farmers' market and a chance to restock. Friday also means that most of the world (at least those who have a life) will be out and about tonight leaving the laundry room free for me. Normal people have date night, I have laundry night *sigh*.

The only downside to Friday night is all of the new movies come out - and with the the craving for movie popcorn - and there is no one to see a movie with nor the money to burn to see said movies so again with the laundry. Sometimes being single stinks. Other times - like when you cook soup for 36 hours or want to make fish for breakfast - it works out pretty well.

Anyway, must get off and moving before saturday arrives!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

The Comfort of My Own Bed

We all have days when we just don't want to get out of bed - and days the rest of the world probably wishes we hadn't. Those days when we wake up with a headache or don't fall asleep until the hour our alarm goes off or we get up and in the first ten minutes a hundred things go wrong are hard on us and those around us. The key to surviving days like that is attitude and perspective.

Today was one of those days for me, I knew it was time to get up but my body just didn't want to. Unfortunately for me on days like this my body usually wins because, well because the mind and spirit are willing but the flesh is weak. See in the world of chronic pain there are days when you literally can not get out of bed, not because you don't feel like it but because you aren't able. Sure, once I got sitting up I could have moved my legs over the edge of the bed (by grabbing my knees and MOVING my legs) bit would YOU want to walk around on sword tips while a thousand needles were jabbed in your legs? I didn't think so! Better to take another round of meds (now kept in my bedside table and not the bathroom for just such reasons) and wait for the pain to ease up.

So now we come to the question of what to do while 'relaxing in the comfort' of bed. One can choose to dwell on the pain, complain about the fact that if you take it easy on your legs it's makes your back hurt all the more, obsess about what you could/should/want to be doing or (and this is a BIG OR) you can use the time for more important things - positive things.

Instead of dwelling on the needles, pins and knives in my legs today I chose to spend my 'down' time praying and reading. Usually on days like this I read Job cause well he's my man. Satan took away all Job had in life - his children, his fortune and his health - and Job still chose to praise God through it all. Even when Mrs. Job yelled "Curse God and die" from the hovel they were living in up to the top of the trash heap Job was sitting on he refused to turn His back on God. Much as I love Job today I wanted something different so I started reading Psalms which I don't often do. I started with the First Psalm figuring I'd get to the Twenty-Third pretty fast but there is a lot of meat on those poetic bones! After an hour or more I got to the 22nd Psalm and there stopped to dwell.

"I am poured out like water,
And all my bones are out of joint;
My heart is like wax;
It has melted within me.
My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
My tongue clings to my jaws;
And you have brought me to the dust of death."

Well hello! If that didn't describe how I felt I don't know what could! Needless to say I went back to the beginning of the Psalm and REALLY read it. While this is one of the prophetic Psalms describing Messiah it is also a promise that I really need to hear sometimes. God hasn't forgotten me, He doesn't despise me, He hasn't turned His back on me or caused this to happen to me. He has ALLOWED it to happen, not MADE it happen and there is a difference.

God hears my prayers and He answers them! Sometimes I don't like the answers ('Lord, I want to feel better' meant I wanted to be like everyone else NOT be told I HAD to go on disability) but if we take time (like when we are stuck in bed) and are in the right frame of mind (dwelling on the things of Heaven and not the pain or what we can't do perhaps?) things come to light that were missed in the darkness of our personal gloom.

I got phone calls made AND got answers today because i took time to really explain what I wanted, how much I needed and what I needed it for. I prayed for people today that I haven't seen in years because I had the time to go down my Facebook friends list and do that. And perhaps most importantly I was reminded that there is no amount of physical pain that I suffer which Christ has not already felt and dealt with.
So, the next time I have a day that sees me spending more time in bed then I would like you know what I'll be doing - after I take my meds - I'll be going back to the Book, looking for more comfort and going over my list of friends and family praying for their comfort!

Sometimes I think it would be nice to spend a day in bed being lazy, eating bonbons and reading magazines but truthfully that's not how I'm made. So for now it's 'up and at'em' every chance I get and when my body decides otherwise, well I'll put my willing mind to good use while the weak body gets the rest it demands.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Have you ever wondered...

why Mondays are so hard? After reading so many comments on Facebook, Twitter and Foursquare today I put some thought into it and being me (I am NOT OCD) I have bulleted them...

• We get 24 hours in a day 8 of which are supposed to be dedicated to sleep. This leaves us 16 hours of which we spend 8 at the aforementioned work or school not to mention the prep and driving time which easily eat up 2 hours at either end shortening our time to 4 hours. 4 hours to spend preparing for the next day, preparing dinner, preparing to sleep, preparing our children to do their best at school and trying to relax with our loved ones.
• We get 7 days in a week 5 of which we spend at work or school or driving around in circles trying to get people to work and school. This gives us 2 days a week to cram in quality time with our loved ones - worship services, sports, shopping, family activities, yard work, shopping, special events and the ever dreaded overtime
• We get 52 weeks in a year - out of that most get 2 weeks for vacation. I'll admit I'm really bad at math but 2 out of 52 doesn't seem like much to spend with the people that mean the most to you.

It would seem to me that Mondays are especially hard on us because whether we work outside the home or not they denote the start of the stop watch that controls most of our lives. There just isn't any other day of the week that seems as onerous as the one that rings the death knoll to our beloved "free time". Even if we aren't working - stay at home mom (bless you cause I KNOW an 8-5 is more restful) disabled, retired or whatever - Mondays are when the banks and offices are open which means we have a list of things that need to be taken care of or will be getting phone calls that give us knew things to take care of that we didn't even plan on adding to our lists. There is also the Post Office, sure they deliver on Saturday but do we really care? I don't even check my box most Saturdays!

So why are Mondays so manic? Well, seems to me that we are trading the running in circles of our "freetime" for just plain running in circles.

Besides - what other day is half MONster and half weakDAY?

A Presidential Proclamation and Isaiah 65

No, this is not President Obama speaking. Its not even President Reagan - that great man of faith. First read it and notice how timely it is... I'll tell you who issued this official proclamation later.

"Whereas it is the duty of Nations as well as of men to own their dependence upon the overruling Power of God, to confess their sins and transgressions in humble sorrow, yet will assured hope that genuine repentance will lead to mercy and pardon, and to recognize the Sublime Truth, announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all History, that those Nations only are blessed whose God is the Lord.
...We have been the recipients of the choicest of bounties of Heaven; we have been preserve these many years in peace and prosperity; we have grown in numbers, wealth and power as no other nations has ever grown. BUT WE HAVE FORGOTTEN GOD. We have forgotten the Gracious Hand which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and straightened us, and we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superior wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too self-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us.
It behooves us, then, to humble ourselves before the offended Power, to confess our National Sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness."

I found this while reading Isaiah 65 today.
The first half of that chapter talks about the Righteousness of God's Judgement against a people who said to Him "keep to Yourself. Do not come near me, for I am holier than you!" Doesn't that sound like America today? A nation that "walks in a way that is not goo, according to their own thoughts". God goes on to tell Isaiah that this nation that didn't answer when He called, didn't hear when He spoke, who prefer Fortune & Destiny and did what was evil will be numbered for the sword. Sin earns destruction - whether individually or nationally "the wages of sin are death".

Isaiah goes on to write though, that God promises good for those who are His servants. In a detailed list He promises that His servants will eat, drink, rejoice and sing for joy while the rebellious will go hungry, thirst, be ashamed, cry from broken-heartedness and wail in grief of spirit.

Ever merciful God ends His this warning to Isaiah with a beautiful description of the Glorious New Creation - the new heavens and new earth. This passage ends with one of the most beautiful word pictures in the Old Testament: "It shall come to pass that before they call, I will answer;And while they are still speaking, I will hear.The wolf and the lamb shall feed together,The lion shall eat straw like the ox,And dust shall be the serpent's food.They shall not hurt nor destroy in all My Holy Mountain,"Says the Lord our God."

While I know the last glorious passage will not come to pass until Christ returns and every knee has bowed to Him in Heaven and on Earth, I cannot but marvel at how close America has come to the description of the "rebellious nation" and it scares me. Please take a moment today and read Isaiah 65, then read the news headlines, then pray. Prayer for our country and its leaders, for the upcoming elections and most importantly beseeching God for forgive our national sin of turning our backs upon Him on Whom our country was founded. Pray for your neighbors, pray for your children's future, pray for mercy and guidance.